Meditation

Do you know that feeling when you do something and ask yourself afterwards: What was that actually for?

We all do things more or less without really wanting to - almost as if they just happen to us. Without meaning to, we reach for our cell phones, get upset about little things or get caught up in unnecessary conflicts. Mindfulness and meditation can help to break through these automatic patterns of action. How? By learning to consciously notice what is happening in your head and around you.

Why does this work?

• Imagine not mindlessly picking up your cell phone and suddenly finding yourself after two hours of doomscrolling. Instead, you realize in time that you have the phone in your hand - and put it down.

• Imagine not getting upset and driving more aggressively when someone pulls out in front of you. Instead, you recognize your anger, realize that nothing bad has happened, and let it go.

• Imagine if you recognized early on in an argument that it was actually about a trivial matter instead of insisting on your opinion and thus provoking an escalation.

• And imagine making a small mistake and not automatically overwhelming yourself with self-criticism, but instead seeing it for what it is - simply a mistake that you can learn from.

In all these situations, mindfulness gives you back control. You no longer simply react to your environment - you make conscious decisions. In other words, you gain freedom over your attention.

The last article was about how your thoughts shape your life [Click here]. Today we look at why consciously perceiving these thoughts is so important - and how meditation can help you do this.

The art of noticing

Mindfulness and meditation take many forms, but they are based on a common characteristic: noticing what is currently in our consciousness. Being mindful therefore means paying very careful attention to everything that is happening at that moment. This clearly distinguishes it from the state we find ourselves in when we are lost in thought. Thoughts are not an obstacle or bad per se. It is just as possible to focus your awareness on your thoughts.

Perhaps you are now thinking that it is possible to control your thoughts. But if that were really the case, then we would never have any difficulty formulating a thought or remembering that one thing that just doesn't occur to us.

Many people don't realize that they are thinking - and therefore don't realize what they are thinking. They move around in their world of thoughts all day long and the voice in their head is so natural to them that they don't even question it. But think about it: are you consciously thinking about something, or do the thoughts just come to you?

Here's a little experiment:

- Try to think of a category of some kind - for example, city names.

You will notice that you cannot choose what you think of. Rather, your thoughts simply appear in your consciousness and then disappear again.

The same happens with emotions. As a rule, we have no control over how we feel at any given moment; the feelings just come over us.

Mindfulness helps you to consciously perceive this process. It sharpens your awareness of what is happening in your head and around you.

You learn to notice what you notice.

So if you could notice your thoughts and feelings and control your reaction to them, you would lead a much more self-determined, balanced and happy life, wouldn't you?

The best known way to achieve this kind of mindfulness is through meditation.

How does meditation work?

Meditation is about consciously directing your attention. This is done by focusing on a so-called anchor.

This is usually breathing, as it is the easiest to access and can be clearly separated from thoughts. However, a focal point, a region of the body or even a sound can also serve as an anchor. By focusing on this anchor, you learn over time to notice where your attention is.

So you don't always have to practise meditation by sitting quietly and breathing.

However, everyone has to start somewhere. We recommend meditating sitting down with your eyes closed and focusing on your breathing.

How to meditate:

The best-known methods of meditation are focusing on breathing and the body scan. I would like to show you these below.

Step 1:

Find a quiet place where you feel comfortable.

Sit upright on a chair or on the floor - with your feet flat on the floor or cross-legged. Keep your back straight but relaxed. Place your hands loosely on your thighs.

Step 2:

Close your eyes and breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth three times. Feel your belly rise and fall - breathe deeply into your belly, not just into your chest. Then breathe normally again.

Now start the body scan: focus your attention on different parts of your body one after the other.

- Start on your head

- Move to your forehead

- Then to your jaw and chin

- Continue to your neck and shoulders

- Feel your chest and back

- Move your attention to your arms and hands

- Then to your hips and thighs

- Finally to your calves and feet

If you notice that there is tension in one region, try to relax this region as you breathe out.

Step 3:

After you have completed the body scan, focus your attention on your breathing. As an anchor for this, you can focus on the following:

- The flow of air coming in and out through your nose

- The rise and fall of your belly

Try to keep your attention on your breathing for 5-10 minutes.

It is quite normal for thoughts to arise. If you notice that you are wandering off, try not to evaluate the thoughts, but notice them and then return to your breathing.

Once you have learned to meditate, you can integrate this awareness of the content of your attention into your everyday life and apply it to everything.

The greatest benefit of meditation practice is understanding consciousness, or rather the process of consciousness. This allows you to fundamentally change the way you see and interact with the world and yourself.

The Double Benefit

In addition to benefits such as better focus, sleep, increased memory and less stress, mindfulness and meditation have two key benefits:

1. Recognizing negative thoughts and feelings

2. Enjoying positive things in full awareness

Both benefits are based on noticing what is going on in your consciousness:

1. Recognizing negative thoughts and feelings

For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you may suddenly feel anger. But this anger often subsides quickly. What keeps it alive are the thoughts that follow - such as how inconsiderate others are or how often this has happened to you. It is this vortex of thoughts that reinforces the emotion.

By noticing your thoughts early on, you can break this vicious cycle.

Think about it: Have you ever been really angry about something at that exact moment? Or was it related to events in the past or future?

The same applies to self-criticism: thoughts like “I can't do this” or “I'm too stupid for this” influence your perception of reality. If you notice them, you can question them instead of letting them define you.

2. Enjoying positive things

Imagine you have everything you want - but you are constantly busy mourning the past and worrying about the future. That way, you'll never be able to enjoy the things that are right in front of you.

A study by Killingsworth & Gilbert shows exactly that: that a wandering mind makes you unhappy - regardless of whether the activity you are distracted from is pleasant or unpleasant. So as soon as there is a discrepancy between what you are thinking and what is happening. ¹

Being in the here and now is therefore a decisive factor in being happy.

Meditation trains you to consciously control your attention. This allows you to focus on what really matters in the here and now.

This also applies to conversations. Very few people really listen. Instead, their thoughts wander: They think about what they are going to say next or think about how what they are saying might come across. But if you concentrate fully on listening, you will actually understand the other person - and lose your insecurities along the way.

Transformation

Through meditation and mindfulness exercises, you can recognize thought patterns and habits that are so deeply rooted that you no longer even notice them. But it is only by consciously noticing what you think and feel that you can begin to initiate change.

An important step towards controlling your own thoughts is to first notice what you are actually thinking. Because your life is made up of many small decisions. Through meditation, you learn to make these decisions consciously.

But to really develop this ability, you need to practise regularly. This is because the positive effects of meditation only unfold over time.

If you keep at it, you will notice that your ability to focus on things increases, a mental sharpness develops that you have never experienced before, and you actually do the things you want - instead of just reacting to external events.

However, developing habits such as regular meditation is not easy. The next entry will therefore focus on how you can build healthy routines and maintain them in the long term.

Sources:

¹ https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.1192439

Meditations apps: Atom & Waking Up (recommendation)

Huberman Lab Podcast 105 mit Dr. Sam Harris